Someone close to me recently told
me that her boss called her for a one-on-one meeting and told her, “From the time I’ve know you, you are
someone who tries to please everyone. That does not work in real life. I
expected you to change as a person but you haven’t. Please change that in you.”
She was shocked by this comment and asked, “In
what context are you saying this to me?” Her boss stayed mum. As far as her
performance at work was concerned, nothing much was discussed. She expressed
her dissatisfaction with me. I asked, “What
gives your manager a right to comment upon your character? Isn’t it his job to
help you with your performance instead?”
As a member of Toastmasters and
as an evaluator of speeches, I’ve learnt that as an evaluator (which is also a
part of being a leader) our job is to comment on the speeches and not the
speaker. Thus, as a manager, I believe it is his or her responsibility to
comment on our performance and not our character.
I would much appreciate my own boss
if he gives me suggestion related to my work performance rather than suggestion
related to how I should or should not be. I cannot change who I am for the sake
of a job nor can anybody else. As managers and leaders, the responsibility of
each person is to help others in improving their performance and changing them
as a person. Perhaps as a mentor, one can drop few words of wisdom but no one
has the rights to tell anyone “This is
who you ought to be”.
