Ego - a source of conflict

I am not an expert in conflict resolution. Yet I know one thing about conflict to be true - many times the source of it lies in the 'ego'.

Sometimes why does a manager resent a very hard-working and capable employee? The answer - "They did not act as I said or they did not do what I asked them to do." More than a case of discipline or the work not being done, it becomes a case of gratifying one's ego. "How can someone dare to disobey me", right? The same holds true for the employees. Instead of gracefully accepting a constructive criticism or feedback, they start contemplating that fact that the 'I' was criticized.

It is important for each person to have a sense of self-respect. There will be times when we have to choose to walk away or fight the fight. But a lot of conflict occurs because the two people in the conflict are too convinced about being right and too offended to hear anything said against the 'I'. Neither party is ready to compromise because the 'I' becomes more important than the issue at hand. Whether or not the problem gets solved 'I' should not be offended.

I believe that if people learn to move out from this obsession with the 'I' and focus on the problem or issue at hand instead, reaching a solution and avoiding conflicts would be a lot easier.

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Gratitude at workplace

Do you have any idea what a job may mean for a person? It is taking care of a family, sending kids to school, being independent, buying that lovely dress you see in the mall, eating your favorite meal, paying rent and staying warm in winter. Yet most of the time all that a job gets is complaint - "This is not enough, that is not enough and blah blah... " - rather than gratitude.

Do you have any idea what someone working for you means? That person is making the functioning of a business possible. With his help your business, which is probably your dream, is moving ahead. The employees are giving their time, effort, attention for a dream that is yours. Yet an employee is treated with anything but gratitude - "I'm paying him so he better do as I ask him to do".

What happens in the larger context of events is that getting a job and giving a job is following a divine order. Each of us are neither selling ourselves nor doing any favor for each other. In the course of helping ourselves we're helping the other person as well. And this deserves gratitude.

What happens if employees start feeling grateful towards their employers for giving them a job? What if employers start feeling grateful towards their employees for making the functioning of business possible? Something amazing - we would be happier and so would the workplace. And since 'gratitude' is such a positive emotion, our lives would only get better and more prosperous.

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